I often wonder why many women, including me, make caring for ourselves less of a priority than caring for others. Self-care seems to require additional time that we don’t feel we have. It could be easier if, each day, we simply chose to be kinder to ourselves that day. This choice would not require hours of our time. It would not require advanced planning. Being kind to yourself can take just a few moments and […]
Being Even Kinder to Yourself 💕 Read More »
2024! A new year full of new possibilities, even as we are faced with horrific images and stories about violence and strife on this beautiful planet we gratefully inhabit. Even for the most optimistic of us, it can be challenging to remain hopeful and optimistic. Many of us find ourselves in conversations where we are trying to encourage others to see bright spots in the world and to recognize that many people are doing admirable
Gifting Yourself Moments of Joy Read More »
I was talking with a dear friend and she asked me about a friendship of mine that had ended long ago. She had many questions and as I spoke about the experiences of that relationship, I could feel a tightening in my chest. “That’s odd,” I thought, “This was years ago.” But in that moment, answering those questions, it felt like the events I was describing had happened just last month. Well, not exactly last
Letting Go of The Past…Again!💫 Read More »
Over the past few months, the weight of expectations has been a frequent topic in conversations with family and friends, and in my own thinking, journaling, and choices. Each of us has a very personal relationship with the many expectations in our lives — our expectations of ourselves, what we expect from others and, of course, what we believe other people expect from us. Can expectations be positive? Of course! My parents had expectations that
Freeing Yourself from Expectations! Read More »
I am so blessed to spend much of my time each week listening to, or reading, the stories that women share during calls, in emails, in virtual meetings, and on SayItForward.org. Every woman’s story inspires me and I learn from them all. Every single one. A theme that has been central in many recent stories and conversations is not a new topic, but one that I am certain requires re-examination before this year comes to
YOU are so much more than ENOUGH! Read More »
I never met Marlene, but her words landed in my heart with a resounding WHOOSH! Her message reached me in an unexpected way, as I walked in a beautiful wildlife refuge. Before stepping on the trail, I set an intention for this walk – that I be open to and grateful for the messages that I would receive from Nature as I walked. The fact that it was a cold, damp and windy day meant
She left us these words – “Don’t postpone joy.” Read More »
A very dear friend of mine is grappling with a situation that I have experienced many times in my own life. I suspect that you have faced this challenge, too, when someone you love is… … resisting some or all of the changes you are embracing in your life; … judging your personal growth or your evolving perspectives; … refusing to accept the version of who you are now and trying to hold on to
People Who Love You Exactly As You WERE! Read More »
Why, I wonder, are we reluctant to talk about our sadness? A recent conversation has prompted me to think about this question and to explore the relationship between joy and sadness in our lives. Many of us find it much easier to share our joy, to talk about why we are feeling joyful, while silencing our sadness. There may be many reasons for this choice, perhaps reflecting what we believe our sadness says about us
I heard a familiar and persistent theme in five conversations or Zoom gatherings about various topics over the past three weeks. Five different women, from five different countries, voiced often unvoiced-but-deeply-felt sentiments about being enough and doing enough … … “I ask myself, ‘Have I done enough?’” … “Since I was a little girl, I have felt like I was not enough.” … “I know there is always more I can do. I just have
You ARE enough, and you have ALREADY DONE enough! Read More »
June was an emotionally challenging month for me. The “why” does not seem that important, other than to say that four events stirred up residual grief and sadness that I had repressed and tried to ignore. So, two weeks ago, I decided it was time to do something to explore the emotional aches hidden deep inside, and I committed to writing an “I release…” statement every day for twenty-one consecutive days. Here is what I
Releasing The Past Read More »
I was about 5 years old, staring into a bassinet where a newborn baby was sound asleep. She was lying on her back and I was as mesmerized by her stillness as I was by her tiny hands. Soon, I became aware of someone standing behind me. It was not my Mom or one of my aunts because I knew that if it were, I would feel a hand on my shoulder or hear a
Rediscovering Joy and Wonder Read More »
How much easier our lives would be if we followed the advice we lovingly give to others. For many of us, this period of “staying home” has significantly limited our face-to-face time with family members who do not live with us, colleagues, and others who comprise our various communities. Time together is facilitated by technology and flexible schedules, and we are all supporting people who are afraid, or who feel alone, or who long for
Our Harshest Critic and Our Best Friend Read More »
I am grateful for every lesson on my path to empowerment, and for the past week I have been especially grateful to a joyful 4-year-old girl (I am guessing her age). Last weekend, in a long neighborhood walk, we saw a few individuals and families out for walks and bike rides, away from the work-from-home, school-at-home, video-conference-from home experiences that fill our weekdays now. I heard that little girl before I saw her across the
Catherine Lafferty D’Agostino was not afraid to die. When she was twelve years old, she sat at the bedside of a woman who was dying. The woman lived alone, so her neighbors took turns sitting by her bed and waiting with her until she was ready to release her final breath. Catherine’s mother had another commitment that afternoon, so she sent her daughter to keep the vigil in her place. Catherine sat alone and watched over the dying
She Gave Us The Moon Read More »
I believe in the healing power of love, in the transformation created in our lives when we allow ourselves to give and receive love with our hearts wide, wide open. Life events this year have led me to examine more closely the various aspects of love, and to feel love even more intensely. In the process, I have been exploring forgiveness, an aspect of unconditional love that is sometimes overlooked. We may lose sight of
The Freedom of Forgiveness Read More »
A recent trip has me thinking a lot about the expression “Things are looking up.” This is not a phrase I ever use myself because, like other optimists, I usually find glimmers of hope in challenging situations. In the past few weeks, two things happened that have shifted my perspective to one of even greater optimism, and have given me an appreciation for the practice of literally looking up. For nearly six months, our family
Early in my career, I worked with an abrasive man who was almost always angry at me. He was angry at everything I represented as a woman in the workplace, and furious enough to raise his voice whenever he spoke to me. But it is not his anger that made a lasting impression on me, it is a simple expression of his, one that has served me well since. In a meeting with this man,
Learning to Say “No”…AGAIN! Read More »
I was standing at the kitchen sink washing a pan when I thought I saw something sparkling just above my line of sight. Looking up and out the window, I noticed drops of water falling from the garage roof as the recent snowfall melted in the afternoon sun. Nothing special. Melting snow. As I looked down at the soapy pan in my hand, something told me to glance up again. The sun had just peaked
The Magic in that Moment Read More »
We celebrate Valentine’s Day by telling others how much we love them, and it is a wonderful tradition. We want people to know how much they mean to us, how much we love and appreciate them. This year, in the flurry of red hearts, flowers and sweets, we have the opportunity to rethink this holiday that celebrates love. Here are two suggestions that may make this Valentine’s Day your best in years, and maybe even
Most of us welcome a New Year and the opportunity to focus on what we love about our life and also on what could be better. New Year’s resolutions offer a tool to begin re-creating our life by defining and pursuing what we truly want and deserve. In some aspects of our life, all we need is a bit of fine-tuning, while other aspects may require major revamping. Much has been written about how effective
The New Year’s Resolution You Need in 2017 Read More »
I have been thinking a great deal about my friend Adam (not his real name) who died several years ago at a relatively young age. He comes to mind nearly every time I observe someone who is not pursuing her/his dreams. Adam wanted to study law after college, but his parents had other plans for him and he followed their dream instead of his own. Unlike some people who fall in love with their profession
Who Stands Between You and Your Dreams? Read More »
Every minute of every day, we are faced with choices that shape our lives. There are big choices related to our relationships, our beliefs, our work…and smaller choices (or so they seem) about what we will do with our day, with whom we will speak, how we will invest our time and energy. Our days might look very different if we consistently asked this question: “Am I making this choice from a place of love,
Choosing Love Over Fear Read More »
I have had the very good fortune over the past month to meet or to reconnect with several women who inspire me and from whom I have learned (and continue to learn) a great deal. And while I was not searching for a unifying theme for my conversations with these wonderful women, one eventually did emerge. Each of these women is facing the decision to end a relationship – a friendship, a job, a family
I recently met a young woman who is making a significant difference in her community, a woman who is helping people transform their lives. If you had been listening to our conversation, it is unlikely you would have known how amazing Anna is. Hearing her describe herself and her work, you might have been underwhelmed. But I knew something about Anna before meeting her, and in our conversation it was clear that her inner-critic was
Quieting Our Inner Critic Read More »
I absolutely love the idea of a holiday during which we celebrate LOVE with paper hearts, cards, flowers, chocolates and, of course, hugs and kisses. Love is an essential component of our human existence. If I asked you to make a list of all the people you love, it would probably be quite a long list of family and friends (and perhaps a celebrity or two). But who would be at the very top of
Celebrate YOU this Valentine’s Day! Read More »
The most significant changes in our lives are obvious to those who know and love us (and even to those who do not). A change in careers, a marriage or divorce, the birth of a child, the death of a loved one – these are life events that spark outpourings of congratulations, caring, celebration, or condolences. But there are also important but subtle changes in our lives, those that result from the decisions we make
Becoming the true you! Read More »
If life were a college curriculum, you would probably earn an A+ in the course called “Giving to Others.” You willingly and generously share your love, time, and energy with family, friends, colleagues, and others. It’s a wonderful thing to do, and surely they are all very grateful. For many, the last six weeks of the year are hectic, a mix of joy, pressure, delights, deadlines and wondering where the year has gone. It is
Our Openness to Receiving Read More »
The words “I love you” have great significance in our lives and in some cultures Valentine’s Day is a day devoted to this and many other of expressions of love. It is a beautiful tradition with one significant drawback – Valentine’s Day is focused entirely on our love for others. Last year I suggested finding time to write “an old-fashioned, straight-from-the-heart, love-letter to yourself.” The response was fascinating. A number of women posted comments on
Will You Be Your Valentine? Read More »
The title of a long-running, off-Broadway play – “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change” – always makes me smile. It pokes fun of the common human pattern of falling in love with someone and then wanting to fine-tune that person and create the ideal partner. Recently, I have been thinking about a different pattern in relationships, one more along the lines of “I love you, don’t change.” Some of the people who love us
When We’re Tired of Running in Place Read More »
On a challenging afternoon at the beginning of February, I decided to schedule a vacation day before the end of the month. I clicked through my calendar to find one that did not seem overly booked and Friday, February 22, seemed ideal. There were two blocks of unscheduled time on that day and the meetings already scheduled were ones that could easily be moved to earlier in the week. I blocked off the 22nd and
Not Exactly a Vacation Day! Read More »
