There was a month last year when I felt caught up in dramas of my own making and the dramas others had created. During this time, self-care had not only taken a back seat, it was nowhere in the proverbial car. Then, an idea came to me during a Women’s Circle. What if I asked myself one simple question each morning, “What would make me happy today?”
I began doing this the very next morning and, because it was a busy time, the answers that immediately came to mind were small things. Here are a few examples:
– Dance for a few minutes.
– Look out at a tree for three minutes, breathing deeply and smiling. (No, I did not set a timer!)
– Cross the last two things off my TO DO list without doing them.
– Reschedule that 11am call.
– Call a friend who always makes me laugh.
– Write myself a quick thank-you note.
– Don’t go to that big party.
– Have that conversation I’ve been avoiding.
What a difference this daily practice made! It did not eliminate the dramas. It did not change my life, but it did change my day and it changed me. Committing to do one thing for myself each day shifted my outlook every day, even on hard days.
I told a few friends about this approach. Those who tried it found that it helped them, too. A few minutes ago, I asked myself a different question, “What can I do to help someone right now?” This blogpost is my answer. I hope that you will explore small things—or big things—that will make you happy each day. You deserve it!💕
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Photo Credit: © Marek Uliasz | Dreamstime.com
Thanks for this uplifting post. Because of a big shift in my life, I don’t generally feel overwhelmed anymore but rather somewhat aimless/anxious at times so I try to focus on things that already give me joy. My friend taught me this on a walk, it is as simple as taking time to truly watch and follow the butterfly’s flight. Imagine what happens when we slow down enough to pay attention to things that are already right in front of us? This centers me in the moment and asks very little of me other than to focus with gratitude on the beauty around me and give myself permission to do it.
Such an important post! A few years ago I did the #365daysofgratefulness challenge. It was an amazing reminder to look at the positive things in life. Things that make you happy and that make you smile. When you train yourself to look for them, you find several
things a day to make you smile. A child’s wisdom, a funny dog, green lights all the way to work, a hug etc…. Life is full of moments that can bring us joy. We need to recognize them….
Thank you so much for this topic ❣️ I literally take time every day to reflect on positive, happy thoughts and things in my day. Mostly, they are simple things. Currently, I walk with a cane around my garden early most mornings and appreciate the amazing beauty of my perennials. Each day something will bring a smile to me. Right now I am enjoying my hydrangeas that are in bloom.
This year though, my garden is also filled with weeds and I don’t care. My life has changed this year and I am too weak from Chemo to garden and so I am so appreciative of my perennials that thrive.
So, I must let you know there is even more reason to be happy and appreciate each blossom in my garden. Earlier this year my breast cancer became Stage 4 as it metastasized into my body. It was a lighting jolt to me, having already lost siblings to cancer, I accept and understand my fate.
So, by focusing on the positive each day, I always think about and try and live by a line from a song of a singer who lives with MS: “I don’t worry about things I can’t change.” A thought I wanted to pass on.
Thank you, Sharon, such a great advice! I started doing this every and it does make a dofference in the way I perceive the events and my attiitude towards them!
A simple but powerful question/practice. Thanks for sharing, Sharon.
Sharon I loved the reminder that we have the power to cross off the last two items at the bottom of our to do list because well the lis is OURS isn’t it. When I find myself overwhelmed or stressed I try to get in the habit of asking myself will this still matter to me in 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months, 5 years? It helps the issues seem small and allow me the space to refocus on the good that does make me happily on a daily consistency.
Another small pleasure that I have that Elisa’s comment made me think of – when a butterfly passes my personal space I imagine it is my mother and follow it as if she is trying to lead me to something. When I can no longer catch up with it I tell myself this is where she wanted me to go to take in whatever is right there at that moment in time. To slow down and absorb it.
Dear Sharon,
Your post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. My “To Do List” keeps getting longer and longer, and I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed. Then I read your post and thought, an early morning walk with my dog would make me very happy. And so I left my “To Do List” on my desk and told her I’d be back later in the day after I’d taken some time for JUST ME!
Thank you for this reminder that we have the power to change our outlook on any given day. We just have to give ourselves permission. Your Women’s Circles and Blog help enormously, and for that I am very grateful.
With love and a huge summer hug,
Kate
I will tell you what made me happy today: reading your beautiful post, Sharon! Thank you for seeing us! What a gift. I love how this simple practice can provide so much nourishment. I need something just like it in my life, and will start this week — in fact, today. Time has been slipping away lately, and things have become “too real” — I have been thinking about ways to reclaim time, be more present, and give myself some of the care I need — and asking myself this question is the perfect beginning. Sending you sooo much love — and gratitude for this precious gem <3.
I dance most of the time in my spare time. It makes me happy. Although I’m not really a good dancer, but doing so makes me easy tensions within my body. Thank you Sharon for this amazing post!
Sharon, thank you for sharing this. My life took a more positive note when I started doing what I call a gratitude prayer before I go to sleep, focusing on what went right, instead of wrong. The more I think of what I’m grateful for, the less I feel the need to be what I can’t be. I’m a lot happier with what I have and with letting go of what I can’t have. What I have is enough.
Sharon, what a great practice. So often I start the day thinking about or writing a list about the things I Must do, and the sense of duty and obligation set the mood for the day. By the time I finish all the “should” and “ought ” to’s, there’s little time for my own heart’s priorities. Although I start the day meditating which keeps me grounded, I forget to fit in the things that bring me joy. I like your idea about asking myself that question and prioritizing the answer by setting aside time to do at least one small thing that enriches my life.