That Was NOT An Apology

8 Comments / Making A Difference, Taking Care of Yourself /

We know that forgiveness is a central tenet of all relationships. Our willingness to apologize, or to accept someone else’s apology, acknowledges and accepts the occasional or frequent missteps in our daily interactions with others. In recent months I have been thinking about the importance of forgiveness, of how it shapes our day-to-day experiences. I have been paying closer attention to situations in which people apologize, and especially to the words they use to express …

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Facing into Anger

14 Comments / Making A Difference, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

The first time I watched two talented performers dance the tango, I was mesmerized by the precision of their movements and the rapidity with which they changed direction. Anger is like that for me. Not there at all and then, in an instant, staring me in the face. My experiences with personal anger are much rarer than they once were, partly as a result of years of meditation training and partly from the related exploration …

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Learning to Say “No”…AGAIN!

4 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

Early in my career, I worked with an abrasive man who was almost always angry at me. He was angry at everything I represented as a woman in the workplace, and furious enough to raise his voice whenever he spoke to me. But it is not his anger that made a lasting impression on me, it is a simple expression of his, one that has served me well since. In a meeting with this man, …

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"No, no, I can manage"

16 Comments / Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

A recent interaction with a young mom has me thinking a great deal about our reflexive reluctance to accept even the simplest form of help when it is offered. My brief exchange with this woman made a lasting impression. Dave and I had walked into town for lunch and as we approached our destination, I noticed a young woman pushing an old-fashioned, larger-than-usual baby carriage. The woman was walking towards us and when she was …

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The Magic in that Moment

11 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

I was standing at the kitchen sink washing a pan when I thought I saw something sparkling just above my line of sight. Looking up and out the window, I noticed drops of water falling from the garage roof as the recent snowfall melted in the afternoon sun. Nothing special. Melting snow. As I looked down at the soapy pan in my hand, something told me to glance up again. The sun had just peaked …

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Whom Do You Love

10 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

We celebrate Valentine’s Day by telling others how much we love them, and it is a wonderful tradition. We want people to know how much they mean to us, how much we love and appreciate them. This year, in the flurry of red hearts, flowers and sweets, we have the opportunity to rethink this holiday that celebrates love. Here are two suggestions that may make this Valentine’s Day your best in years, and maybe even …

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The New Year’s Resolution You Need in 2017

12 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

Most of us welcome a New Year and the opportunity to focus on what we love about our life and also on what could be better. New Year’s resolutions offer a tool to begin re-creating our life by defining and pursuing what we truly want and deserve. In some aspects of our life, all we need is a bit of fine-tuning, while other aspects may require major revamping. Much has been written about how effective …

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It Has to Stop Somewhere

29 Comments / Making A Difference, Remembering Who You Are /

I am genuinely fascinated by memory, by how something from the distant past comes to mind for no obvious reason – a special moment, a long-forgotten experience. Sometimes, when this happens, I wonder why the memory came and if it holds a new lesson for me. Many years ago, my Mom was driving my brother and me home from a visit to my grandmother’s house. Suddenly, the car moved into a sheet of pouring rain. …

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Who Stands Between You and Your Dreams?

12 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

I have been thinking a great deal about my friend Adam (not his real name) who died several years ago at a relatively young age. He comes to mind nearly every time I observe someone who is not pursuing her/his dreams. Adam wanted to study law after college, but his parents had other plans for him and he followed their dream instead of his own. Unlike some people who fall in love with their profession …

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Choosing Love Over Fear

12 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are /

Every minute of every day, we are faced with choices that shape our lives. There are big choices related to our relationships, our beliefs, our work…and smaller choices (or so they seem) about what we will do with our day, with whom we will speak, how we will invest our time and energy. Our days might look very different if we consistently asked this question: “Am I making this choice from a place of love, …

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The Life We Create In Telling Our Story

4 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

We create and re-create our life in the stories we tell others about ourselves and in the stories we tell ourselves. Several years ago I heard Ben Zander, conductor of The Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, speak about the impact of our answer to a simple question most of us are asked many times each day – “How are you?” As we reply to this question from others, we also signal to ourselves how we feel about …

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Choose YOU!

9 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

I have had the very good fortune over the past month to meet or to reconnect with several women who inspire me and from whom I have learned (and continue to learn) a great deal. And while I was not searching for a unifying theme for my conversations with these wonderful women, one eventually did emerge. Each of these women is facing the decision to end a relationship – a friendship, a job, a family …

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Quieting Our Inner Critic

8 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

I recently met a young woman who is making a significant difference in her community, a woman who is helping people transform their lives. If you had been listening to our conversation, it is unlikely you would have known how amazing Anna is. Hearing her describe herself and her work, you might have been underwhelmed. But I knew something about Anna before meeting her, and in our conversation it was clear that her inner-critic was …

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To Whom Do You Give Your Power?

7 Comments / Making A Difference, Remembering Who You Are /

I love kaleidoscopes because they remind me that in an instant, everything can change. In many of the “kaleidoscope moments” of my life, I have been able to see long-held beliefs or fears in a new and completely different way. So what does this have to do with our personal power, and how we give it away? Two years ago, I wrote a draft post called “Do they hear you?” The point of the post …

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Celebrate YOU this Valentine’s Day!

16 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

I absolutely love the idea of a holiday during which we celebrate LOVE with paper hearts, cards, flowers, chocolates and, of course, hugs and kisses. Love is an essential component of our human existence. If I asked you to make a list of all the people you love, it would probably be quite a long list of family and friends (and perhaps a celebrity or two). But who would be at the very top of …

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Feeling Good About "No"

28 Comments / Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

Recent conversations with four friends from different walks of life left me wondering what happened to our collective ability to utter that very simple, two-letter word that could help make life so much less complicated. Anyone who has been around a toddler for even a few moments understands the effectiveness of an emphatic, fully-committed “no.” So how have we lost this reflexive response when faced with a request for which we have little time or …

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The Difficult Decision to End An Unhealthy Friendship

8 Comments / Letting Go!, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

Most of us vividly remember the joys and pains of adolescent friendships, and the dramas inherent in them. Thankfully, as adults our friendships with other women are deeper and richer, influenced and enriched by the shared experiences of navigating life as a woman. The depth of these wonderful friendships is difficult to describe, and it is even more difficult to describe the comfort found within them, within a cocoon of support, understanding, encouragement and love. …

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What color is the elephant in your room?

12 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

In recent weeks I have been watching as two very dear friends navigate the emotions that result from deceit, betrayal, and destruction of the deep trust they shared. It is painful to observe their drama play out and, most obviously, extremely painful for them to live it each day. Everyone one of us has experienced betrayal of some kind, and the very word often evokes a physical response in our gut. Memories can flood back …

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Becoming the true you!

4 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

The most significant changes in our lives are obvious to those who know and love us (and even to those who do not). A change in careers, a marriage or divorce, the birth of a child, the death of a loved one – these are life events that spark outpourings of congratulations, caring, celebration, or condolences. But there are also important but subtle changes in our lives, those that result from the decisions we make …

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Navigating Others' Expectations

14 Comments / Remembering Who You Are /

Some of the best advice and insights I have ever received has been offered by children. In some cases, they were words actually intended as advice – ”Don’t get into a car with someone you don’t know, Sharon.” But far more often the insight had an unintended impact, a thought spoken with the clarity and conviction beautifully alive in most children. Several years ago, I was visiting friends who have three children. The oldest, a …

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A Moment Just for You

14 Comments / Remembering Who You Are /

2015 was not off to the start I had imagined. Illnesses, slips and falls, and other life challenges faced by family and close friends in the first two months of the year had left me feeling a bit frayed at the edges. In the midst of the various “pulls” in my life, I had planned a quick dinner with two wonderful women whom I do not see as often as I would like. The drive …

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2015: Truly Your Best Year Yet

6 Comments / Making A Difference, Quick Tips /

I was very happy to kiss 2014 goodbye. It was a year of many lessons, some that I would have opted to skip had I had the chance. Like all years, it was full of joys and sorrows (including the loss of a much beloved aunt), and many wonderful “new beginnings.” All in all, it was a very good year. There were situations I could have handled better, of course, and 2015 offers another opportunity …

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Our Openness to Receiving

14 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

If life were a college curriculum, you would probably earn an A+ in the course called “Giving to Others.” You willingly and generously share your love, time, and energy with family, friends, colleagues, and others. It’s a wonderful thing to do, and surely they are all very grateful. For many, the last six weeks of the year are hectic, a mix of joy, pressure, delights, deadlines and wondering where the year has gone. It is …

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Was that a real conversation?

12 Comments / Quick Tips /

I love REAL conversations. Over the past few weeks I have been extremely fortunate to experience intensely positive reconnections with five women I know, all a result of having real conversations with them. In each case, we did not talk about the weather or international news headlines or great food, we discussed the experiences, feelings, and decisions that are foundational in our lives. All women inspire me as I navigate the steps (and missteps) of …

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Whose Drama Is This?

12 Comments / Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

I recently made a commitment to notice when I create drama in my life or when I get pulled into other people’s dramas. It happens more often than I care to admit and I ask myself why that is still true. In the most recent example, two friends were disagreeing over something that did not seem very important, and as I observed their anger flare, I could feel tension building in my body. As their …

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Help is Always There When We Need It

12 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are /

I am convinced there should be a mandatory course for totally responsible, self-sufficient women (and men). The course title would be: “How Asking for Help Can Significantly Improve Your Life.” So few of the women I know ask for help and, even worse, many actually refuse help when it is offered — “No, thanks. I can handle it.” (or some variation on that theme). I recognize the condition because I suffered from it for many …

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Nine Words That Are Changing My Life

14 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

I often arrive at the end of my day having accomplished a lot, although rarely all that I had hoped. I’ve tried many approaches to setting and resetting priorities, and confess to being a nearly obsessive list-maker. While lists remind me of what I want to do throughout my day (and sometimes my evening), they do not help determine how much time to spend on any one activity or project. By now you may be …

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Will You Be Your Valentine?

10 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

The words “I love you” have great significance in our lives and in some cultures Valentine’s Day is a day devoted to this and many other of expressions of love. It is a beautiful tradition with one significant drawback – Valentine’s Day is focused entirely on our love for others. Last year I suggested finding time to write “an old-fashioned, straight-from-the-heart, love-letter to yourself.” The response was fascinating. A number of women posted comments on …

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Honoring Aunt Tucker

24 Comments / Remembering Who You Are /

The voice I heard when I woke from a dream this morning was my Aunt Tucker’s. Not actually her voice, but definitely her. I could not go back to sleep so instead I begin celebrating Aunt Tucker’s life. On this day when her body will be placed in a grave, her soul is dancing with the moon and her sister stars. She has already sent us small but distinct signs that she is loving us …

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Creating Your Best Year Yet

20 Comments / Remembering Who You Are /

There is much fanfare over the first day of the New Year and many people make resolutions about things that they will start or stop doing when January 1st rolls around. I do not limit myself to starting over on the first day of January, as sometimes the early days or months of a new year seem more like what I wanted to leave behind than what I planned to carry forward. Letting Go of …

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