Was that a real conversation?

12 Comments / Quick Tips /

I love REAL conversations. Over the past few weeks I have been extremely fortunate to experience intensely positive reconnections with five women I know, all a result of having real conversations with them. In each case, we did not talk about the weather or international news headlines or great food, we discussed the experiences, feelings, and decisions that are foundational in our lives. All women inspire me as I navigate the steps (and missteps) of […]

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Whose Drama Is This?

12 Comments / Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

I recently made a commitment to notice when I create drama in my life or when I get pulled into other people’s dramas. It happens more often than I care to admit and I ask myself why that is still true. In the most recent example, two friends were disagreeing over something that did not seem very important, and as I observed their anger flare, I could feel tension building in my body. As their

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Help is Always There When We Need It

12 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are /

I am convinced there should be a mandatory course for totally responsible, self-sufficient women (and men). The course title would be: “How Asking for Help Can Significantly Improve Your Life.” So few of the women I know ask for help and, even worse, many actually refuse help when it is offered — “No, thanks. I can handle it.” (or some variation on that theme). I recognize the condition because I suffered from it for many

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Nine Words That Are Changing My Life

14 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

I often arrive at the end of my day having accomplished a lot, although rarely all that I had hoped. I’ve tried many approaches to setting and resetting priorities, and confess to being a nearly obsessive list-maker. While lists remind me of what I want to do throughout my day (and sometimes my evening), they do not help determine how much time to spend on any one activity or project. By now you may be

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Will You Be Your Valentine?

10 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

The words “I love you” have great significance in our lives and in some cultures Valentine’s Day is a day devoted to this and many other of expressions of love. It is a beautiful tradition with one significant drawback – Valentine’s Day is focused entirely on our love for others. Last year I suggested finding time to write “an old-fashioned, straight-from-the-heart, love-letter to yourself.” The response was fascinating. A number of women posted comments on

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Honoring Aunt Tucker

24 Comments / Remembering Who You Are /

The voice I heard when I woke from a dream this morning was my Aunt Tucker’s. Not actually her voice, but definitely her. I could not go back to sleep so instead I begin celebrating Aunt Tucker’s life. On this day when her body will be placed in a grave, her soul is dancing with the moon and her sister stars. She has already sent us small but distinct signs that she is loving us

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Creating Your Best Year Yet

20 Comments / Remembering Who You Are /

There is much fanfare over the first day of the New Year and many people make resolutions about things that they will start or stop doing when January 1st rolls around. I do not limit myself to starting over on the first day of January, as sometimes the early days or months of a new year seem more like what I wanted to leave behind than what I planned to carry forward. Letting Go of

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Love Travels Far and Fast

14 Comments / Making A Difference /

A few years ago I began ending my letters and e-mails with some variation of the words “sending love” or “sending a hug.” I often receive a reply from someone who confirms that she could feel my hug, and I have come to believe that this is truly possible. We really can send love to someone far away, someone who is often in our thoughts or someone who may need a bit of additional support.

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When We’re Tired of Running in Place

4 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

The title of a long-running, off-Broadway play – “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change” – always makes me smile. It pokes fun of the common human pattern of falling in love with someone and then wanting to fine-tune that person and create the ideal partner. Recently, I have been thinking about a different pattern in relationships, one more along the lines of “I love you, don’t change.” Some of the people who love us

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Forgive Yourself

12 Comments / Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

I listened closely as my friend told me that she was letting her family down. Her eyes filled with tears and then, as her story continued, she began to cry. “Letting them down?” I asked softly and in disbelief. Knowing how much time and energy she devotes to her family, I could not believe what I was hearing. How could she believe there was more she should be doing? We talked for a long time,

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Not Exactly a Vacation Day!

18 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

On a challenging afternoon at the beginning of February, I decided to schedule a vacation day before the end of the month. I clicked through my calendar to find one that did not seem overly booked and Friday, February 22, seemed ideal. There were two blocks of unscheduled time on that day and the meetings already scheduled were ones that could easily be moved to earlier in the week. I blocked off the 22nd and

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New Valentine’s Day Traditions

14 Comments / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are /

We celebrate Valentine’s Day by telling others how much we love them, and it is a wonderful tradition. We want people to know how much they mean to us, how much we love and appreciate them. This year, in the flurry of red hearts, flowers and (for some of us) chocolate, we have the opportunity to rethink this holiday that celebrates love. Here are two suggestions that may make this Valentine’s Day your best in

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Before You Kiss 2012 Goodbye

14 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

During the past few weeks many of us prepared for and happily celebrated holidays, traveled to visit family and friends, closed out work projects, and juggled the other wonderful December activities that sometimes seemed overwhelming. At least they did to me. How, then, dare I suggest one more thing for you to do in the remaining hours of 2012? The answer is simple…I believe this brief exercise will help you let go of this year

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Giving Thanks

14 Comments / Quick Tips, Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

In conversations over the past few weeks, I have heard a number of people comment that Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday. My Dad said this often when I was growing up but I did not understand. My favorite holiday then was Christmas. I used to think that Dad preferred Thanksgiving because he is shy and does not feel comfortable receiving gifts, or because he does not like the fanfare often associated with celebrating the Christmas

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A Commitment to Yourself

26 Comments / Remembering Who You Are, Taking Care of Yourself /

Most of the women I know pour out their love, their energy and their hearts to help family, friends, neighbors, colleagues and sometimes even strangers, often without being asked. There always seems to be a good reason for them to put others first. Does this sound familiar? If not, you have good advice to share with us. If, however, you struggle with putting your needs ahead of (or at least on par with) the needs

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Desperation and Hope

22 Comments / Making A Difference /

I traveled to Malawi with two wonderful colleagues last week and while visiting a small hospital outside Lilongwe, a tiny newborn captivated my heart and mind. She was lying on a warming table, bundled up in two swaths of colorful cotton fabric. We spoke to a nurse who estimated that this baby had entered the world at 28 weeks, much earlier than the full 40-week term. She is the tiniest baby I have ever seen.

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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

7 Comments / Quick Tips, Rediscovering Joy, Taking Care of Yourself /

The best advice I have received over the course of my life has come from my mom and dad, much of it in my early years – important lessons like listening carefully while others speak, treating everyone the way I wish to be treated, and their precious words “remember that no one is better than you and you are better than no one.” My parents taught my brother and me invaluable lessons about trust, unconditional

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The Burden of Unfinished Business

14 Comments / Letting Go!, Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

I sat at a departure gate at Newark airport, watching a woman struggle with more bags than she could possibly take onto the plane. She looked around and the only open seat in the waiting area was directly across from me. She sat and immediately began to unpack and repack the contents of four bags, trying to rearrange her belongings to meet the airline’s carry-on limit of two. Within a few minutes, this woman seemed

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Asking “Do I really, really want to do this?”

11 Comments / Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

For years I spent most of my waking hours doing what was expected of me rather than what I truly wanted to do. I like to think of myself as a strong and independent woman, but somehow I was driving my life following the roadmap of others’ requirements rather than my own. Was I alone in this? I know I was not. Over time I learned to check in with myself more often, to do

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Dealing with Grief

23 Comments / Meditation, Taking Care of Yourself /

It’s a sad and lazy Sunday afternoon and I have just watched a quick, angry summer storm drop heavy rain and snap branches that now clutter my yard. As the rain poured down I thought, “Nature is weeping with me today. Weeping for those who have gone.” In the past week, two young, vital and vibrant colleagues died suddenly, leaving family and friends stunned, bewildered and grief-stricken. I cannot make sense of these tragedies or

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Saying Goodbye to the Little Red Hen

10 Comments / Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

I am reluctant to admit that one of my very favorite stories as a child was the tale of The Little Red Hen. Many times over the years I remembered two of the lines repeated throughout the tale — “Then I’ll do it myself“, said the Little Red Hen. And she did. And so did I! Like so many women I know, I needed to prove that I could handle everything that came my way,

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Our First Thought of the Day

13 Comments / Meditation, Quick Tips, Taking Care of Yourself /

Many of us skip our first important decision of the morning, one that we make before we open our eyes and get out of bed. It is the decision concerning how we feel about this new day. Our first thoughts upon waking shape our experience of the rest of the day. Will we be calm or harried? Happy or frustrated? Will we feel confident and comfortable about what lies ahead, or worried about how the

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What if we didn't call it meditation?

12 Comments / Meditation, Quick Tips /

One of the most effective ways of connecting with the deepest part of who we are, our true self, is to meditate. Mediation is also an excellent tool for reducing stress and for improving overall health and well-being.  Most of us know this, or at least have heard it, so a simple question comes to mind — if meditation can be very helpful, why don’t more of us meditate?   “I can’t do it,” a

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Rediscovering Joy

Leave a Comment / Rediscovering Joy, Remembering Who You Are /

Many years ago I discovered a photo that made my heart smile.  My mom or dad had taken it at the very moment I discovered a new rocking horse on Christmas morning.  I was not yet three years old and if you saw the photo you would agree that this little girl was in a state of absolute joy.  Years passed and I forgot about the photo and, if I am truly honest with myself,

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