I heard a familiar and persistent theme in five conversations or Zoom gatherings about various topics over the past three weeks. Five different women, from five different countries, voiced often unvoiced-but-deeply-felt sentiments about being enough and doing enough …
… “I ask myself, ‘Have I done enough?’”
… “Since I was a little girl, I have felt like I was not enough.”
… “I know there is always more I can do. I just have to find the time.”
… “She has done so much to create change! I feel like I should be doing more, being more vocal, acting for change.”
… “No matter how much I do, I feel that I could do more.”
Sigh. In one of these conversations, I suggested the phrase, “I AM enough and I have ALREADY DONE enough.” It is a phrase that was born in the midst of my own frenzied efforts to “do more” about a situation into which I had poured hours and hours of thought, time, energy, and action. The phrase seemed to arrive out-of-the-blue and my first reaction was to dismiss it. Of course that was my first reaction – just as it would be YOUR first reaction.
Do we ever truly believe that we have done enough in any part of our lives where doing a lot seems the only way of demonstrating that we care deeply, that we are fully committed, and that we are “all in”? Somehow, the phrase refused to be dismissed, and it repeatedly came back into my mind. Then, I actually spoke it, in a whisper – “I am enough and I have already done enough.” I did not believe it was true, but I repeated the phrase over and over again. And finally, in that specific situation, I realized that it WAS true. My drive for a different and better outcome than the one that was actually (and inevitably) happening had frozen me in my belief that I could do even more to change that outcome. I could not.
So, I write this post today to remind you of these truths…
… You ARE enough!
… You have ALREADY DONE enough!
… You are ALL IN when you need to be, and then you can feel empowered to let go and step away.
… The very fact that you ever think “I am not enough” is a signal that YOU ARE MUCH MORE THAN ENOUGH!
With all my heart, I invite you to recognize your amazingness, and to celebrate the one and only YOU! Truly, you are so much more than “enough”!
~
Photo credit: © Svetoslav Sokolov | Dreamstime.com
I am going to save this phrase and repeat it back to myself! I needed to read this this week – so thanks for the post! I’m a new(ish) Mom trying to balance a full-time job, being a “family manager”, a toddler, and taking care of myself. I’m constantly telling my husband “I feel like I’m failing” because it feels like I’m not doing enough in one or all of those aspects. But he tells me “I don’t know why you think that – you’re amazing.” So maybe we also need to listen to and believe the people in our lives telling us the reality that we can’t see, instead of being so hard on ourselves too!
This post is so empowering. It’s very rare that we take time to reflect on our accomplishments. We always think about the mountains we still have to climb without acknowledging how far we’ve already come. Personally, I believe this makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be in some spaces or I don’t deserve a seat at that table. It would do me well to constantly remind myself that I am enough.
How is it that you always seem to know what lesson I need to learn? This one is such an important one, and your timing couldn’t have been better. I often find myself thinking the same thoughts over and over again, “I should have, I could have, why didn’t I….” To what point? Why do so many of us feel we have not done enough? I don’t know. But what I do know is that from now on I am substiuting your phrases, ” I am enough. I have already done enough,” everytime I start down the road of self-flagellation. Thank you for this perspective, Sharon, and my new mantras!
With gratitude, Kate
A wonderful reminder, thank you Awakening Your True Self! I just wanted to add that the pressure to be enough isn’t just coming from within. There is pressure from society, politics, environmental issues, our local communities and humanity as a whole.
The media tells us that we must wear a certain brand of clothing, drive this car or buy this product to be enough. Society pressures us into following a certain religion, marriage, and having children, especially as women, to conform, and if we don’t then we are not whole or enough. This is leading to unhappy women and an overpopulated planet. We are reminded to be thin, successful and ambitious. It is reinforced when we are bullied, abused or not treated with kindness and respect. It’s everywhere, in our education, on the news. We are repeatedly reminded as human beings that we are not enough, we must change and save the world.
Isn’t this exhausting! I think we must be extremely kind, gentle and protect ourselves from these pressures. If we can change on the personal level, know that we are already enough, share this idea, and be kind to others, it will reinforce a healthier more positive message. Best wishes!