It is usually (but not always!) easier to choose love over anger, fear, frustration or other emotions when we are interacting with people we deeply love. This is especially true when we have reached a level of unconditional love, of loving someone without expectation. I cannot claim to love everyone this way, but I am committed to this goal.
Each day, I become more aware of how choosing love improves all of the experiences of my day-to-day life. Most of the people I know well, my family and close friends, are kind and compassionate people so choosing love in my interactions with them is easy. Those are not the choices that prompted me to write this post today.
Two startling experiences recently tested my commitment to choose love over anger, challenged me to question whether love was always the best choice. Spoiler alert… I have decided once again that love IS always the wisest and best choice. Rather than recount the details of my two recent experiences, I will summarize by saying that they occurred in the most unlikely places. In the first situation I was offering to help an older man who was having difficulty exiting the public library. In the second case, we were in a small restaurant while on vacation. Both times, I was shocked by the intensity of the anger directed at me and by the words used to express it. I was even more shocked because in neither case could I understand the reason for the rage.
These two experiences reminded me, as an advocate for love and compassion, that the choice to be kind and loving is not always the easiest choice. I know that it should be – and I wish that it were – but quite honestly it is difficult to remain loving when a stranger is angrily yelling at me. Recognizing that my own anger may bubble up reflexively, I also realize that what I choose to do in that moment IS where my power lies. Expressing my own anger, or holding on it after it arises, these are important choices in the moment the emotion first emerges. Choosing love and compassion… BEING loving and compassionate… is not always my first and immediate reaction, but I want it to be.
Each of us has the power to choose our reactions to irritating situations, people and experiences that we may face on any given day. My two recent experiences caused me to question whether I actually WOULD chose love and kindness rather than expressing the frustration I was actually feeling. And while I did not return the anger with anger, these situations cause me to think about HOW to consistently choose love.
I now keep these reminders close at hand, as consistent messages to myself about who and how I choose to be…
… May every choice I make be made in and from a place of love.
… In every moment, I choose LOVE as the lens through which I see myself and others.
… I hold a place and a space of loving acceptance, encouragement, and forgiveness for myself and for others.
Sending love and gratitude to all, and hoping you will share your ideas about ways we can all continue to spread love and compassion in our families, our communities, our countries, and in the world.
~
p.s. It has now been six months since my beloved Mom, Catherine (aka Kathryn for many years!) crossed from this life to the afterlife. I am so deeply grateful to the many people who reached out with messages of sympathy, support and encouragement. THANK YOU so very, very much. EVERY message helped during this challenging time for me and for our family.
Photo Credit: © Studiotsunami | Dreamstime.com
Dear Sharon, it is great to have you back! Love is a decision, which in many cases is very difficult to make toward rude people that hurt you … It is not an easy decision but for sure it gives you an incredible sense of relief and freedom. Thanks for sharing and lots of love for a wonderful friend!
Dear Sharon,
Thank you. Somehow your beautiful spirit always knows when to communicate with us. I truly needed to hear your words of how you always live your life through love and compassion.
I feel so bombarded on a daily basis with the news of violence, tragedies and words of hatred. It is so overwhelming and draining on one’s being.
I try to spend quiet time every morning to center myself, so that I can start each day in appreciation of the simple gifts we have all been given in life. When I am centered with a positive mindset, I am stronger and more able to go out into the world with an open heart with love and compassion. I am a realist, as someone else’s life and stresses may not allow them to have a similar outlook, and you unfortunately experienced this.
Through this Blog, I appreciate your continued words to reinforce ways for us to keep ourselves centered on love, even when others are not able to do so.
I am thinking of you on the passing of your mom, Catherine. She will always be with you in your heart. Be kind to yourself during this time.
Peace, Ellen Kurtz
For reasons we cannot understand, sometimes our actions are misinterpreted and then viewed with negativity. Some people cannot comprehend love from strangers or even those close to them but this blog post encourages us to find that gift in ourselves and others. Sometimes people rub me the wrong way and vent to my friends and show my friends my worst me, sometimes I vent in emails that I never send. I too try to be there when my friends just need to complain or release bad energy that we all carry. Maybe the people who are full of rage don’t have good friends or family who give them the love and opportunity to release their anger, so they don’t even have the means to be appropriately frustrated, they let loose on strangers. My Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Walsh, always told me to give those folks a big smile because sometimes out of that smile comes the real gift of forgiveness and love. I’ve been working on it but as you write, it’s not easy.
Hello dear Sharon,
This is such a lovely piece and so very timely. I find that in the current political environment, I am feeling so very reactivated by what’s going on in the world and this piece touched me. Knowing you, I can’t even imagine anyone reacting to you with anger, and I can only imagine the deep sense of sadness it would bring up in your soul, as you are one of the most compassionate and loving people I’ve ever met. I too try to bring love and acceptance to everyone I encounter, but in the current climate, it is so very difficult and I’m finding that I am less willing to go out into the world and meet new people, for fear of the anger and divisiveness I sense on a daily basis. I know that my spirit is strong and that I will always come back to love as the core of my soul, but it is a daily challenge these days. I try to remind myself that love always triumphs and stay away from negativity. Some days I am more successful than others. Your post gives me hope and reminds me that it’s something we’re all going through. Much love to you, as always.
Hugs, Claudia
Thank you as ever Dear Sharon. Your words are always a soothing balm, and so eagerly and blessedly received. The idea of seeing all through the lens of love — including ourselves — spoke to me, I find the more forgiving I am toward/with myself (including when I fail to choose love) the more naturally I can hold that place for others — it is truly magic! With compassion and immeasurable love and gratitude to you and for you, <3 <3 <3
thank you for this very timely piece! Needed to hear it! Hope you are fabulous.
Hi Sharon, thank you for your post.. I love the guidance from this woman and the Divine, (source below it) much love, Patricia
Love Expects The Very Best And Therefore Draws It Forth
Love walks hand in hand with friend or enemy and sees beyond the immediate. Love delves deep within until it finds that divine spark within each individual and concentrates on that, ignoring all else. Then it builds on that divine spark until it becomes brighter and brighter. It expects the very best and therefore draws it forth.
Love never accepts defeat, it may receive one rebuff after another, but nothing daunts it. The love simply goes on flowing ceaselessly.
To love with My divine love you never crawl into a shell when you have received a rebuff, you never want to retaliate and hit back when you have been hurt or criticized, but you realize that even greater love is needed so you open the flood gates and let it flow forth.
2 August 2019
One of the co-founders of the Findhorn Community, Eileen Caddy, received guidance from the “still, small voice within” and shared it with the community for more than 40 years until she passed away in 2006. We continue this tradition as her guidance is as relevant today as it was when she received it.
Dearest Sharon, I opened your link at the perfect time. I had just had a somewhat unpleasant evening with my cousin and was still feeling angry when I woke up this morning. I read your piece and filtered the whole evening through the lens of love. It really helped.
Thank you for somehow always knowing just what we need to be reminded of.
Sending love and lots of hugs,
Kate
Sharon, thank you for such an inspiring post. Love is powerful and has the ability to overcome everything. Sending you hugs and prayers to you and your family on the loss of your mother.
Dear Sharon, my prayers are with you on the transition of your mother Kathryn. My mother passed almost two years ago and there are good days and challenging days living with my new reality. I admire your wonderful spirit and how you share on this blog. I will move toward unconditional love to all I encounter, although this is a tough task. I want to be present in the moments and move towards exhibiting love and kindness to all,
I LOVE this post!
Sharon, it is so good to hear from you. In a busy, mixed up wirld we sometimes lose our place in it and can’t see the forest for the trees. And lately, the sheer magnitude of horrifying news tests us everyday to stand against hate with what our courage is made of – Love. Yes, I choose LOVE ALWAYS and I preach it and live it when most importantly I am tested. I am not a saint, but I am a valued child of God and He who lives in my heart and mind helps me choose, each and everyday, to approach all with love. I have what many in my life say is a weakness – I choose to look past the hatefulness and try to understand the why. There is always a why. It is mostly hidden from us behind the hateful words that hurt us. I will continue to do my best to carry that which they call my weakness and be an example of what love and tolerance should look like.
Sending you lots of that love, and kisses and continued healing hugs, for time does not heal a broken heart, it only helps scar over the pain so we can continue our journey in this world.