“I was going to finish that sentence.”

Well into my career, I was in a meeting with a great group of intelligent, successful and confident business leaders. I respected every one of them. They were all men. It was in that meeting room that I found the courage to say, finally, to one of the men who had just interrupted me, “Eric, I was actually going to finish that sentence.” (There was no Eric in the meeting, but I choose to protect …

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Whose expectations?

There are important lessons at every twist and turn in my life, and often these are lessons I have been ignoring for years. Most recently, I have been focusing on expectations – how they affect me every day, and what I can learn from them. I have previously written posts about managing other people’s expectations* and about managing our own expectations** of what we believe we can or should do in a particular situation. There …

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Moving through grief…

I woke from a dream about my Dad this morning.  He looked exactly as he did in the weeks before his death eighteen months ago.  He looked tired.  When I was fully awake, I knew (again) that he was gone and I sobbed.  I miss my Dad – the Dad who had been a superhero, as my Mom had been, throughout my life.  Crying seemed the only way to release the sadness, so I cried. I used to think that …

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Choosing Love Again and Again

It is usually (but not always!) easier to choose love over anger, fear, frustration or other emotions when we are interacting with people we deeply love.  This is especially true when we have reached a level of unconditional love, of loving someone without expectation.  I cannot claim to love everyone this way, but I am committed to this goal. Each day, I become more aware of how choosing love improves all of the experiences of my day-to-day …

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She Gave Us The Moon

Catherine Lafferty D’Agostino was not afraid to die. When she was twelve years old, she sat at the bedside of a woman who was dying.  The woman lived alone, so her neighbors took turns sitting by her bed and waiting with her until she was ready to release her final breath. Catherine’s mother had another commitment that afternoon, so she sent her daughter to keep the vigil in her place. Catherine sat alone and watched over the dying …

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The Freedom of Forgiveness

I believe in the healing power of love, in the transformation created in our lives when we allow ourselves to give and receive love with our hearts wide, wide open. Life events this year have led me to examine more closely the various aspects of love, and to feel love even more intensely. In the process, I have been exploring forgiveness, an aspect of unconditional love that is sometimes overlooked. We may lose sight of …

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Looking Up

A recent trip has me thinking a lot about the expression “Things are looking up.” This is not a phrase I ever use myself because, like other optimists, I usually find glimmers of hope in challenging situations. In the past few weeks, two things happened that have shifted my perspective to one of even greater optimism, and have given me an appreciation for the practice of literally looking up. For nearly six months, our family …

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Celebrating Dad

Our Dad truly was a superhero and when he crossed from this life into the afterlife, he left an unimaginable void in our lives. He left us many weeks before his actual death in April, experiencing what his doctor called “degenerative dementia.” So in the end we had a medical term for what had happened to Dad, though what we really wanted was a reason. There was no reason, but in an odd twist of …

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Invisible Hoops

My dear friend Emma* is making a career switch and has been interviewing for jobs in fields that have long interested her. In describing the process, she told me that one perspective employer had her “jumping through hoops” with continually changing requirements. After our call, I thought a lot about Emma’s use of that particular expression and about how most people I know, including me, are jumping through hoops on a daily basis. Often, we …

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That Was NOT An Apology

We know that forgiveness is a central tenet of all relationships. Our willingness to apologize, or to accept someone else’s apology, acknowledges and accepts the occasional or frequent missteps in our daily interactions with others. In recent months I have been thinking about the importance of forgiveness, of how it shapes our day-to-day experiences. I have been paying closer attention to situations in which people apologize, and especially to the words they use to express …

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